Destiny.....and Death
by Mika Kino
Summary: Shu Lien lays at Li Mu Bai's death bed, seeking a way to return to her lover. A tear jerker, read with caution.


Disclaimer: I, Mika Kino, own nothing and nobody, so don't even start.  
  
a/n: I just saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, (GOD I'M SLOW!) Actually, my best friend said it was a quote "Mika Movie," *Alliteration! Whaddya know?* And I had to agree. I waited till we finally got our home theater installed, so that's why I'm kinda, 'behind the times.' **sobb** Why am I crying again? **skizo alert** Wait, actually, I cried when Jen jumped and Li died, and so I hhhhhhaaaaaaaadddddddd to write about Shu Lien. (Hasn't this been over done?) Neh, maybe this idea happened. (If I thought of it, it had to of been) I don't know 'cause I haven't read any of the CTHD fanficts. (not enough time!) So if someone thought of this before me, I honestly didn't mean for it to happen, okies? Tomboys honor! Short, I know, I don't really care, after all, good things can come in small packages. ^.~ ps: If I shed a tear, lemme know.(doupt I will, but don't rain on my parade)^^ R+R pps: Okay, I make a reference to Buddha, and I don't want to offend anyone, so let me clarify  
this. A majority of people consider Buddha to be the equivalent of god, and considering this is a period fanfict as the movie was a period film, I feel it was appropriate. To others, I apologize if I sound stupid or by taking up space, there are just some real idiots out here.  
  
Destiny........ and Death  
  
So now, he was gone. Simplistic, yet I couldn't grasp it. Why would it not it sink in? My heart was still beating for his next breath to come,  
  
........... but it never did.  
  
My hands, calloused, red, and bleeding were clasped on his face, as if I was trying to hold his spirit in. His skin, the warmth, the hope I held so close to me for so long, was cold, frigid as the Gobi is dry.   
  
I stood up, my knees aching and my mind reeling, no, my mind was burning. The rain water poured all around, and my eyes were squinting, and admist the cries, still, I could see Li Mu Bai's face as clear as any other day we had been together. The screams were ear splitting, painful, and hot water cascaded down my face. I did not realize, the wails were non other than my own, and the waters were my tears.  
  
Have you ever imagined being so frightened, bewildered, so angry, in so much despair, that you do not even know your own weeping? Perhaps, that was why I looked up. I wanted relief. Relief was what my poor eyes beheld.  
  
Still, piercing the body of the cursed Jade Fox, still was piercing, lay the sword. The Green Destiny. No longer in my eyes was it innocent. No sword appears holy that is splattered with blood, by friend or even by foe, for blood is indistinguishable between villain, man, beast, or all three. For it is truly terrible, until you see your own.  
  
.............until you see your own.  
  
I slowly advanced, foot in front of foot, allowing the icy touch of the water to seep into my thin slippers. I carefully pulled it out, and examined the beauty of the blade and lo! There was none. Yet Li, he had died of a fate not worthy of him, not beautiful enough for his soul.  
  
I sucked in a breath, my stomach not fluttering, not moving anymore. Nor, was I crying. I could weep, for as I flicked the Destiny's point at myself, I felt............. my heart go at ease.  
  
Upon many death beds, many questions are heard, and few are perceived of. I only asked myself one question. Had I, Shu Lien, accomplished all I could do? In the quietude of the wet cave, I found my answer.  
  
Yes.  
  
I did not have to think about that for myself. There was no where left to go for pleasure. Perhaps, it was better this way. As I stared at the sword point, I thought of the children who would read my stories, the smiles on their faces. What surprise they would meet upon the last chapter. I only hope they believe my death to be noble. As every sun must rise, it must set. So is the will of Buddha.  
  
When I used the sword, I felt no pain. While it was not what I had expected, it was welcome. My hands broke free, and I felt water lapping at my knees, like and ocean over a seashell who had seen enough days of the land. I sank downward as if I was being unraveled, as if I was being judged while I now lay, dying.  
  
I made sure of one thing though, I, like my secret lover, did not save my last breath for a safe journey to the after life. If the road was hard, I would not want him to tread upon it alone.   
  
"I l-loved you...."   
  
"When the cold of winter comes  
  
Starless nights will cover days  
  
In the veiling of the sun  
  
We shall walk in bitter rain  
  
But in dreams,  
  
I can hear your name  
  
And in dreams,   
  
We will be together........  
  
When the seas and mountains fall,  
  
And we come to end of days  
  
In the dark I hear a call  
  
Calling me there  
  
I will go there  
  
And back again." 


End file.
